WE'RE GETTING MARRIED!

Okay. Maybe we didn't meet in the pods on the hit Netflix reality show "Love is Blind" but swiping away on a plethora of dating apps can certainly feel that way. It truly is a case of "Show the Best, and Hide the Rest" out on these apps, as if you're lining up for an endless bout of speed dating until you see someone who breathes a little hope into your soul that maybe there's a happily ever after out there for you after all. After a couple years of therapy and several 1st dates (but never a second date) I decided to redownload Hinge (the dating app designed to be deleted please sponsor us and pay for our wedding) and try my luck in the Pods again. And much to my surprise, not 5 minutes after booting the app up did a one "Crystal Last Name Redacted" slide into my DMs informing me that early 2000s pop punk was, in fact, the key to her heart also. After a couple hours of flirty banter, I sent her my phone number and told her I'd essentially found a reason to delete. Texting turned to voice messaging (its like sending voicemails but over text and its what the cool young kids do) turned to asking her out on our first date on February 11th, 2022. I had all sorts of contingencies built into the date, just in case I was getting catfished (it's been known to happen), but i picked a cute coffee shop in East Hollywood that was next door to an amazing taco spot that had vegan tacos for the Lady, and a sunflower in my car for her in the event that the date went okay. And lattes turned to tacos turned to a 5 hour date that went by all too quickly. She got herself that sunflower at the end of our little adventure and happened to be the first (and only) woman I've ever kissed on a first date. And I've been kissing her ever since.