Maid of Honor
Cake Maker, True Crime Slut, Main Boo since ‘92
Best Man
Wikipedia Editor, Beard Haver, Notoriously Generous Lover
Bridesmaid
Gluton Avoider, Simpsons Quoter, Cherubic Angel from Heaven
Groomswoman
Horror Movie Scholar, Corndog Enthusiast, Mother of our Godson
Bride
Drive-in Mutant, Reform School Girl, Honky-Tonk Biscuit Queen
Groom
Non-Gang-Affiliated Juggalo, Hardcore Hulkamaniac, Sleeps Nude in an Oxygen Tent He Believes Gives Him Sexual Powers
Officiant
Burn Victim, Child Predator, Bastard Son of a Hundred Maniacs