Wedding Party
Aeslyn Broughton
Bride
This is Aeslyn. She is our caffeinated cryptid. Class: Bride Level: 94 (Specialization: Code, Cooking, and Chaotic Bargains) Special Ability: Fiercely loyal, dangerously witty, and possibly fae — she’ll fight your battles for you, but you may owe her a strange favor later. Weapon of Choice: A coffee mug or a whispered deal made under the light of the moon. Greatest Side Quest: Converting the groom into a One Piece devotee while simultaneously threatening him into eating vegetables “or else” — a feat requiring true pirate-level persistence. Fun Fact: Possibly vampire, poly-jamerous music lover, anime devotee, and confirmed night owl. Without caffeine, she’ll let the world burn (while holding the matches). Battle Cry: “One more level… then I’ll sleep.”
Tyler Wells
Groom
This is Tyler. He is our golden-boy meme lord. Class: Groom Level: 100 (Specialization: Archery, Sarcasm, and Magical Gatherings) Special Ability: Can craft beauty from wood, scale a rock wall, and treat cardboard like precious gemstones — all while delivering perfectly dry humor. Weapon of Choice: A finely tuned bow… or a deck of Magic: The Gathering cards, ready to convert you to the cause. Greatest Side Quest: Winning the bride’s heart with Mass Effect lore, collecting every meme known to man, and getting paid to go shopping. Also once earned a certificate just for asking a question — feel free to ask him about it. Fun Fact: Watches more anime than the bride, geeks out over woodworking joints, and will praise you into victory if you need the boost. Breakfast tacos are his one true weakness. Battle Cry: “Tap two mana, play breakfast taco.”
Nicole Steffen
Matron of Honor
This is Nicole. She is our sanity keeper. Class: Matron of Honor Level: 98 (Specialization: Social Battery Management & Spreadsheet Sorcery) Special Ability: The sunshine to the bride’s moonlight, with a more controlled level of chaos — still fun, but calibrated. An Excel wizard, perfect coffee date, and occasional launcher of Tupperware projectiles. Weapon of Choice: A well-aimed container with sniper-level precision. Greatest Side Quest: Defending pineapple-on-pizza as if it were a sacred relic; she will die on that hill. Once a Damon girl, now proudly Team Stefan. Fun Fact: Can disappear into a book just as easily as she can lose herself in a brand-new RPG. Battle Cry: “Strawberries!”
Chance Steffen
Best Man
This is Chance. He is our destroyer of pickles. Class: Best Man Level: 88 (Specialization: Jerky Mastery) Special Ability: Can whip up legendary batches of homemade jerky that could sustain a traveling party for weeks. Weapon of Choice: The Chickle (a knife? no… something far more dangerous). Greatest Side Quest: Willing to fight a horse-sized duck — though deeply fears the duck disarming him first. Fun Fact: Has an unshakable vendetta against pickles. Battle Cry: “SWAAAAAMP!”
Syana Broughton
Maid of Honor
This is Syana. She is our girly-pop powerhouse. Class: Maid of Honor Level: 96 (Specialization: K-Pop Lore & Pop Culture Dominance) Special Ability: Radiates little sister energy while inducting you into the vast realms of K-Pop, K-dramas, and the bride’s One Piece cult. Once survived being impaled by a deadly river stick at age five — without fainting or flinching. Chuck Norris could never. Weapon of Choice: Her encyclopedic pop culture knowledge and a killer hair day (courtesy of her hypothetical stylist clone). Greatest Side Quest: Riding an elevator with a K-Pop idol, running her foot for president, and representing the Earth Kingdom in every Avatar playthrough. Fun Fact: Pop culture queen, equal parts sweet and fierce — channeling girly pop energy just like Megan Thee Stallion. Battle Cry: “Can I tell you about my bias?!”
Kallen Broughton
Best Man
This is Kallen. He is our silent strategist. Class: Best Man Level: 90 (Specialization: Timey-Wimey Logic & Pineapple-Based Deduction) Special Ability: Capable of sparking lifelong obsessions — he’s the reason the groom fell into Magic: The Gathering. Weapon of Choice: An unreadable shrug that says everything and nothing at once. Greatest Side Quest: Playing Destiny like it’s… well… his destiny. Fun Fact: A new father — dad jokes are currently downloading. Battle Cry: [redacted, just like the cartoon character life swap he refuses to reveal]
Scout Odegaard
Bridesmaid
This is Scout. She is our book girl with a bargain unkept. Class: Bridesmaid Level: 89 (Specialization: Literary Loyalty & Twilight Lore) Special Ability: Can recite the Twilight plot word-for-word and will absolutely choose modern comforts and eye candy over dystopian struggle. Successfully resisted the bride’s anime conversion attempt — even after agreeing to a “1 manga per Twilight book” bargain. Weapon of Choice: A well-loved paperback with suspiciously sharp corners. Greatest Side Quest: Former 4-H and FFA member; maintaining ongoing beef with Junie B. Jones; declaring “Big Blue tastes like Big Red, but blue!” as a universal truth. Fun Fact: Bouncing balls are her least favorite alarm clock, and she would happily live in the Twilight or City of Bones universes. Battle Cry: “Sparkle louder!”
Trey Broughton
Best Man
This is Trey. He is our pop culture triva master. Class: Best Man Level: 89 (Specialization: Unholy Mix of Chaos & Charm) Special Ability: Ordained minister, casual believer in the Mississippi Spider God, and master of convincing an entire herd of children that he is Willy Wonka. Weapon of Choice: A box of mystery (which may or may not contain Gwyneth Paltrow). Greatest Side Quest: Riding into imaginary battle on a hippo while singing Adele, sparking an Easter Bunny rehab conspiracy, and somehow meeting 50 Cent in the same lifetime. Fun Fact: His favorite theme park ride is Mr. Toad’s Wild Adventure — fitting, since he also drives like he’s in it. Battle Cry: “She has a book… STONE HER!!”
Serah Steffen
Bridesmaid
This is Sarag. She is our crafty queen. Class: Bridesmaid Level: 91 (Specialization: Critical Rolls & Culinary Combat) Special Ability: Can whip up a perfect meal, land a joke with precision, and fully believes she could defeat Emperor Kuzco in hand-to-hand combat. Weapon of Choice: A pair of knitting needles — or a frying pan, if things get serious. Greatest Side Quest: Raising a cat with a mustache worthy of its own fan club, and working as an oil-tasting connoisseur. Fun Fact: Masters both craft and cuisine with equal skill, and rolls nat 20s when the stakes are highest. Battle Cry: “Go BEEG or go HOME!!!”
Cullen Barry
Best Man
This is Cullen. He is our Dungeon Master. Class: Best Man Level: 93 (Specialization: Narrative Control & Dice Diplomacy) Special Ability: Can roll for initiative at any moment, then spin an epic quest out of thin air. Known for flawless impersonations that keep the whole party entertained. Weapon of Choice: A well-worn set of polyhedral dice — plus the confidence of someone who’s paddle-boated across shark-infested, rainy waters to Florida. Greatest Side Quest: Surviving said ocean crossing without turning it into an actual D&D encounter. Fun Fact: If a meme could sum up his life, it’s the “Ancient Aliens” guy — but captioned, “Oh, you like fantasy? Let me tell you about D&D.” Battle Cry: “Roll for initiative!”
Amanda Erin Tilly
Bridesmaid
This is Tilly. She is our good witch of the reading nook. Class: Bridesmaid Level: 90 (Specialization: Literary Intel, Harmless Mischief & Kitchen Conjuring) Special Ability: Can name any up-and-coming fictional author before they hit the bestseller list, summon baked goods with suspiciously magical precision, and will happily start harmless conspiracies — like celebrities eating tacos the wrong way (and yes, there is a wrong way). Weapon of Choice: A cursed-but-cozy couch pillow (allegedly in a love affair with the bride’s set). Greatest Side Quest: Campaigning for Nessie to be Jurassic Park’s next leak, maintaining loyalty to Team Charlie over Edward or Jacob, and casting flour-dusted kitchen spells. Fun Fact: Has witchy energy all year round, but only ever uses her powers for good — especially when the recipe calls for sugar and butter. Battle Cry: “Alright, dove.”
Rubin Miller
Best Man
This is Rubin. He is our mad scientist. Class: Best Man Level: 95 (Specialization: Skill Acquisition Speedrun) Special Ability: Can learn any skill if given the chance — from coding entire programs to mastering matches in the craft aisle. Weapon of Choice: A box of matches (or a fully functional code compiler… depends on the day). Greatest Side Quest: Once lit a Hobby Lobby on fire with the groom (allegedly, in the name of science). Fun Fact: Will chaotically order random items off the value menu, then do loop-de-loops without warning. Battle Cry: “It’s not chaos — it’s innovation!”
Reese Matthews
Bridesmaid
This is Reese. She is our pixel-slinging sharpshooter. Class: Bridesmaid Level: 88 (Specialization: Reality TV Lore, Digital Adventures & Pin Accuracy) Special Ability: Equally at home binging Duck Dynasty reruns or Hunter x Hunter arcs, programming like a pro, and training a dog that plays tennis better than most humans — always aided by her trusty rubber duck familiar. Weapon of Choice: A Viva Piñata shovel — perfect for free seeds. Greatest Side Quest: Bowling strikes with unerring accuracy, staying active, and happily spending a month in Red Dead Redemption, trading certain death for the beautiful scenery. Fun Fact: Hates Leafos and Seedos with a passion, and swears she’s totally fed her Nintendog within the last year. Battle Cry: “Not uh huh…” finger wiggle
Jacob Trumbley
Best Man
This is Jacob. He is our RuneScape master. Class: Best Man Level: 92 (Specialization: Stealth & Pixel Glory) Special Ability: Can vanish into a library corner to grind XP for hours without detection — or quietly craft a drink that’ll sneak up on you. Weapon of Choice: Airsoft gun (with sniper-level precision). Greatest Side Quest: Once landed a perfect BB pellet shot into the groom’s ear — a headshot worthy of an achievement pop-up. Fun Fact: Can’t decide what his personal boss music should be, but it probably has ice clinking in the background. Battlecry: “Fear the urnamisbo!”
Samantha Bowdy
Bridesmaid
This is Sam. She is our fellowship’s loremaster. Class: Bridesmaid Level: 93 (Specialization: Epic Quotes & Cheddar Crafting) Special Ability: Can recite the Lord of the Rings books and movies word-for-word, switch seamlessly into Harry Potter lore, and identify the best cheese in any situation. Works wood like a true Home Depot artisan. Weapon of Choice: A Wisconsin cheese knife or a well-sanded staff, depending on the quest. Greatest Side Quest: Loving her cat more than her husband, defending Middle-earth trivia titles, and being the only one who knows the full journey from the Shire to Mordor by heart. Fun Fact: Born and bred in Wisconsin — where the cheese is sharp and the quotes are sharper. Battle Cry: “Where are my feet!?”
Mason Bowdy
Best Man
This is Mason. He is our meme lord. Class: Best Man Level: 84 (Specialization: Meme Recognition & Bus Route Management) Special Ability: If you show Mason a meme, he’ll tell you he’s already seen it — faster than the meme loads. Weapon of Choice: A well-timed reaction GIF. Greatest Side Quest: Taking unsuspecting friends on “epic” bus rides, purely for the adventure. Fun Fact: Might be part hobbit — enjoys the comforts of home, snacks, and second breakfast. Battle Cry: “Wanna ride the bus?”
Connie Leon
Bridesmaid
This is Connie. She is our moonlit island guardian. Class: Bridesmaid Level: 89 (Specialization: Magical Girl Aesthetics & Cozy Gaming) Special Ability: Balances the cuteness of Hello Kitty with the cosmic power of Sailor Moon — all while terraforming her Animal Crossing island into perfection. Can fight evil by moonlight and design outfits by daylight. Weapon of Choice: A pastel Nintendo Switch with suspiciously sharp fashion sense. Greatest Side Quest: Taming villagers in Animal Crossing, unlocking the perfect aesthetic, and sprinkling moon-dusted glitter over every project she touches. Fun Fact: Equally at home in sparkles and shadows — she’ll vibe to edgy playlists while decorating with the cutest accessories. Battle Cry: “Moon Pizza Power!”
Jesse Soriano Castro
Best Man
This is Jesse. He is our Mexican samurai. Class: Best Man Level: 91 (Specialization: Grilling & Gaming) Special Ability: Loyalty can be bought with a good meal — bonus points if it’s BBQ. Wields a katana with the same precision he uses to destroy in-game opponents. Weapon of Choice: A perfectly seasoned grill spatula… or a katana. Depends on the quest. Greatest Side Quest: Amassing an arsenal of hamster memes and gifs — some might say obsessively. Fun Fact: Sports killer tattoos and a man bun he’s very proud of. Battle Cry: "For honor, BANZA!"