FAQs
Question
What should I wear?
Answer
Because we believe the Mass is a sacred and joyful act of worship, we encourage guests to dress in a way that reflects the beauty and reverence of the celebration. Men: -Button-Down Dress Shirt -Slacks/Dress Pants -Belt and Dress Shoes -Coat and Tie Encouraged Women: Shoulders, chest, stomachs are covered. Skirts or dresses are at a modest length. Nice pants with a blouse or shirt is also appropriate.
Question
What happens at Mass? What do I do?
Answer
To read more about what we believe is happening at the Mass, find the other questions detailing that on this page. This answer will focus on the practical things. Because we are body and soul, it is important that we use our bodies in worship to offer praise to God. Because of this, Catholics do a lot of sitting, standing, and kneeling throughout the Mass. If you are unsure when to do what, just go with the crowd: it will be easy to follow. If you are physically unable to kneel or prefer not to because of your religious convictions, please simply sit instead. Before and during Mass, there should be sacred silence in the church as we prepare to worship God in the Eucharist and through the Sacrament of Matrimony. We kindly ask that movement and conversation be kept to a minimum so that all can pray peacefully. Crying or babbling infants and toddlers are the exception: no need to be embarrassed! The Lord loves the little ones and so do we: there could be no more fitting hymn at a wedding than a chorus of babbling babies! When you enter the Church for Mass, there will be worship aids available which will guide you through the Mass so that you can follow along with the structure, hymns, and responses. We encourage you to sing and respond prayerfully and actively!
Question
Can I receive Holy Communion?
Answer
First, a positive note: regardless of your faith, your presence at our wedding is a great honor and blessing to us. We will be thrilled to see you there! Moreover, all the Baptized, regardless of denomination, share a certain union in Christ by their Baptism: our gathering together to worship God is a real sign of this unity and, we pray, deeply pleasing to the Lord. As Catholics, we believe that the Eucharist (Communion) is truly the body, blood, soul, and divinity of Jesus Christ. Find more about this and why we believe this in the questions below. This is why the Church has requirements for the reception of Holy Communion. To simplify slightly, Holy Communion is only open to practicing Catholics. If you are not receiving Communion, you are most welcome to either remain in your pew at this point or to come up in the communion line with your arms crossed over your chest to make a spiritual communion. The rest of this FAQ page contains additional info about the Mass and Catholicism for those who are curious about our faith. If that does not describe you, you've read everything you need to!
Question
For those curious about our faith:
Answer
The remainder of this FAQ page shifts from practical information to help you feel comfortable and prepared for our wedding to information about our faith and what we believe is happening at the Mass. If you are curious, this section is for you. Otherwise, you're all done! We are so excited to see you at our wedding and deeply grateful for your presence!
Question
Why is Holy Communion only open to practicing Catholics?
Answer
First, this is not because we are better than anyone or because Jesus loves some more than others. Rather, because receiving Holy Communion expresses full unity in faith and sacramental life, the Church asks that only those in full communion with the Catholic Church receive. Receiving Holy Communion is not something which can be done casually, as St. Paul warns: "Whoever, therefore, eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of profaning the body and blood of the Lord. Let a man examine himself, and so eat of the bread and drink of the cup. For any one who eats and drinks without discerning the body eats and drinks judgment upon himself." (1 Cor 11:27-29) Because God loves all people and we love all people, we long to be unified with you in the one cup of Christ. However, because receiving Communion expresses full unity in faith and sacramental life, the Church asks that we wait until that unity is fully shared before receiving together.
Question
What do Catholics believe about Holy Communion (The Eucharist)?
Answer
As Catholics, we believe that Jesus instituted the Eucharist, or the Mass, at the Last Supper on the night before He suffered his Passion and death. In John 6, Jesus says “Amen, amen, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you do not have life within you. Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him on the last day. For my flesh is true food, and my blood is true drink." Because of the strong language He uses, and because many disciples left Him over this teaching without correction, the Catholic Church believes Jesus truly meant what He said: when the priest says "this is my body," and "this is the chalice of my blood," God actually causes what appears to human eyes like bread and wine to become the body, blood, soul, and divinity of Jesus Christ. To read more about what Catholics believe about the Mass, see the next questions.
Question
What do Catholics believe happens at the Mass?
Answer
As you may have read above, Catholics believe that, by the power of God, the bread and wine offered to God at Mass actually become the true body and blood of Christ, while retaining the appearance of bread and wine. Beyond this, Catholics believe that two marvelous realities are actually made present to us at the Mass:
Question
1. We are at the foot of the Cross.
Answer
In the Jewish Passover, God’s saving act was not only remembered, but participated in across time. By instituting the Eucharist during Passover, Jesus reveals that the Mass is the New Passover: His one sacrifice made present to us so that we can participate in it. By instituting the Eucharist at the Passover feast and refusing to drink the last ritual cup of the feast until his last moments on the Cross, Our Lord makes clear that the Mass is the New Passover through which we actually participate in and are made present to His Passion, the Exodus by which He leads all men to the Promised Land. Catholics DO NOT believe that Christ is being re-crucified, made to suffer again, or that His one sacrifice is insufficient. His ONE sacrifice which is fully sufficient for our salvation is being made present across time so that we can participate in it.
Question
2. We join in the heavenly worship of all the angels and saints.
Answer
After Jesus' Resurrection, He remained with his Apostles for 40 days, teaching them and preparing them to lead His Church. 9 days later, he sent the Holy Spirit upon them on the day of Pentecost, empowering them with the grace they needed to carry the Gospel out to all nations. The Church is not only made up of members on earth: it also includes those who have died and gone to heaven, saints, who now enjoy perfect communion with God, and all of the angels. As the letter to the Hebrews describes, Jesus now eternally offers Himself to the Father on our behalf in an unbloody manner. In the Mass, this reality is made present to us. We sing "Holy, Holy, Holy, Lord," as the angels and saints are described as singing in heaven, because we are truly joining them in their worship of God. Through His Death and Resurrection, Jesus has opened the gates of heaven, and in the Mass, we can worship the Lord "in spirit and truth" (John 4:23), offering ourselves as sacrifices made acceptable to Him through the merits of Christ our Lord. Jesus has ascended to Heaven, and in the Mass the Holy Spirit continually descends upon His Church, gathering His people together into the one Body of Christ so that they can be offered to God the Father.