Wedding Party
Adam Slade
Groom
Lover of many things - Music, Movies, Football, Coffee, WWE, John Cena, Lego, Star Wars, PlayStation, Pokemon Cards, Pokemon Games, Horse Racing, Paddy Power, 10 Fold Accas, Online Slots, Las Vegas, Disney World, Guinness, K-POP Demon Hunters, Doing Quizzes, Hosting Quizzes, Darwin, Shackets, The Prodigy, Interstellar, Throwing 180s, Ranking Films, Ranking Beers, and Winston. Have I forgotten anything?
Summer Farrell
Bride
Soon to be Summer Slade. You'll most likely find her cuddling her beloved long haired Dachshund Winston, who happily rules her world ( and together they rule Adams ) A big heart and a love for little things in life. Give her a glass of Chicken wine or two and she will be signing along to Celine Dion like its a private concert. 1/3 of the Lardashians
Winston Slade
Ring Bearer
Sausage. Honestly the most important member of the wedding party. One third of their little family, and they love him more than anything. He has been with them through so many of their favourite memories, from peaceful walks along the prom in Maldon to living his best life sailing on a boat at Lake Windermere. Small, fluffy, and completely convinced he is the main character, which is correct. Also known as their land seal, happiest when he is waddling around looking proud of himself, but do not let the low-to-the-ground vibe fool you, he has the spirit of an adventurer. Like Moana, the water calls to him. If there is a lake, a river, or even the slightest opportunity to splash about, he is ready, ears flapping, living his little seal dream. He is Mummies best boy, their tiny soulmate with long hair and a big personality, and they cannot imagine the day without him trotting down the aisle with the rings like he owns the place.
Emma Stewart
Maid of Honour
Contributing 1/3 of the Lardashians. They met at work, Summer sat next to her one day, she yapped, and Emma yapped back, and they have basically not stopped since. Since then they have done what all sensible adults do, gone on MANY holidays together, collected stories they will never fully admit to in public, and made “just one drink” a recurring lie. Summer was by her side on her big day and now Emma is returning the favor. Twinnie, ride-or-die, hype girl. No tribute to her would be complete without mentioning her signature move, the one drunk eye that appears after one too many, like a tiny, tipsy lighthouse warning everyone that the night has officially escalated.
Neal Shore
Best Man
Winner of 2009s 'Best Bowl Cut' awards. Loves Beans. Dance moves are not to be imitated unless seeking high levels of mockery. Highly unreliable Call of Duty squad member. Loves Fish. If seen drinking Whiskey, please alert the nearest adult. Do not ask about Greg.
Chelsie Matheson
Maid of Honour
Big Sister. In 2020 Summer moved in with her and her brother-in-law for lockdown, and somewhere between surviving that together, the 100 cocktails and the general madness of being stuck indoors, she got promoted. Not just sister anymore, also best friend, whether she likes the responsibility or not. Natural leader of Summer and Lewis, the one who takes charge, makes plans, and pretends she is the sensible one, even though she is also the main encourager of bad decisions, especially the kind that start with “go on, just have another drink”. In constant competition with Summer for the title of favourite child, which is hilarious because we all know Summer is winning, but she refuses to accept reality. Honestly, it is part of her charm, relentless, determined, and mildly dramatic about it.
Michael James
Head Groomsman
Head Groomsman aka A way to have a second Best Man without being woke. Will likely ask you how many CVs you've sent this week. Do not mention 'Cube19' under any circumstances. Officially Adams Boss - and unofficially Adams Therapist of the last 9 years.
Robyn Wells
Bridesmaid
Quite literally a ray of sunshine in Summers life, the kindest soul, ridiculously funny, and the kind of person who lights up every room she walks into. Their parents were friends first, so they have known each other forever in that kind of way. They even went on holiday to Spain together when they were kids. But their friendship really blossomed in secondary school. They grew up on High School Musical, fully committed to the Troy Bolton obsession. Also, with her, there is always a story, because from the very start she set the tone. When Summer first met Robyn, she asked if Summer wanted to see her dead hamster. Not hello, not what is your name, straight into hamster grief tour. And if that was not iconic enough, a few years into our friendship she broke her collarbone on a giant hamster wheel, which feels like the universe circling back to a theme and committing to it.
Lewis Farrell
Groomsman
The youngest sibling — and he fully lives up to the title as Shirley’s little soldier boy. With a heart of gold and a head of orange, Lewis has always brought equal parts love and chaos to the Farrell family. Born just 18 months apart, Summer and Lewis were inseparable, often teaming up against Chelsie… until the years passed and they officially became “the three best friends that anyone could have.” Approach with caution — he truly is the wild child of the family. On the wedding day, neither Adam nor Summer will be accepting responsibility for any of his actions.
Rebecca Slade
Bridesmaid
Second biggest nose in the family. Was given the biggest bedroom in the house as a child, leaving Adam to grow up in a room that rivalled Harry Potters cupboard under the stairs for open space. Likely to arrive two hours late. Also likely to turn up hungover.
Iain Matheson
Groomsman
Brother-in-law to Summer, but truly the big brother she never had. Little did Iain know when he met Chelsie that Summer came as part of the package. Through every high and low, Iain has always been there for the Farrells — from supporting them through tough times to holding Summer’s hair back after one too many chicken wines. He’s also been (perhaps unwillingly) front-row to the legendary sister-duo Céline Dion concerts more times than he’d care to admit. You won’t find a nicer person at the wedding than Iain, so if you bump into him, buy him a Grey Goose — preferably before Chelsie notices… and definitely before she says he’s not allowed. Keep an eye on him, once he hits the dance floor, it is like a switch flips and suddenly the world gets blessed with his signature move, the Famous Shimmy Shoulders. No warning, no buildup, just pure shoulder electricity.
Harley Turner
Bridesmaid
Another 1/3 of the Lardashians. Mum of two, although realistically she is also part time responsible for Summer and Emma, so call it four. Meeting later in life Summer and Harley first met on a holiday to Amsterdam where the airport security proceeded to pull out Summers knickers one by one after being searched and sharing a room for four it’s safe to say that trip basically glued them together for life. Since then, Harley has been Summer’s go to interpreter for her signature home move. She has the biggest heart, even if her face occasionally suggests otherwise. Supporter of quite literally every decision without hesitation. If you ever needed a body hiding, she would not ask questions, she would ask what time and what shovel. If you need a laugh on the wedding night buy her a shot of tequila you will not be disappointed by the reaction
Jordan Schwarz
Groomsman
aka @JordanSchwarzPT Hasn't won a game of Fifa in close to ten years. 0-2 Dodgeball record vs Slade. Once fell to sleep in the toilet cubicle of Buddha Lounge and had to be retrieved by crawling under the cubicle door on the piss covered toilet floor.
Annie Hobbs
Bridesmaid
Summer and Annie met in history class after noticing each other crying. One asked if the other was okay, only to realise they’d both been dumped. It wasn’t the last time they cried together in history either — thanks, Mr Frankland. From there, they discovered the Chelmsford nightlife side by side, hitting Dukes with £10 in their pockets, disco pants, and six-inch heels. Summer’s love for Céline Dion truly blossomed during the many drives around town in her black KA, belting out Think Twice at the top of their lungs. Annie was essentially Summer’s unpaid therapist throughout their early twenties, always listening and always there. One thing about Anz — she’s always up for a night out, which will inevitably end in a cat crawl. Some of the funniest moments of Summer’s life have been shared with Annie, including the time Summer plummeted down the Bellagio stairs at 6am, leaving Annie at the top watching in horror, as Summer looked back and called out, “Help me.” As always, Annie was there to pick her.
Robert Davie
Groomsman
Loves recruitment almost as much as Adam does. Met each other at Darwin; then they both conquered Boston; then Benidorm. Co-Founded 'The Saturday Club' during Covid with Jordan and Adam (they basically sat around in each other gardens doing nothing on the weekend).
Louis Stevenson
Bridesman
Quite literally the life and soul of any room he walks into. Introduced through Emma, which quickly led to endless nights at Heaven and G.A.Y until 4am, followed by heading straight to work for 8am — with absolutely no regrets. Somewhere along the way, they also discovered a shared love for EastEnders and the one and only Kat Slater. An ABBA enthusiast through and through, so be warned — when Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! comes on, that dance floor is his. With a heart of gold and the purest soul, Louis has a rare gift for turning even the most mundane moments into ones filled with tears of laughter, which is what makes him so special. When Summer thought about Louis, the very first thing that came to mind was “Excuse me, ma’am… but your tit is out.” A story for another time.
Michael Cavanagh
Groomsman
If you let him borrow your PlayStation Controller, there's a good chance you'll never see it - nor him - ever again.
Callum Hogg
Groomsman
Birth name Callum Hogg; then became Bald Callum Hogg; became Bald Hogg; became Boggy; now known to most as Bogg. Once on the front page of the local newspaper inspiring with the headline 'Hogg brings home the bacon'. (He won a trampolining competition)
Alfie Walters
Groomsman
Joined Darwin during covid when Adam was the only person working onsite. Among his first words to Adam were 'I don't gamble'. Within a week of working with Adam, he had £200 worth of bets on Cheltenham. Considers himself an expert in 'Film', but has never seen KPOP Demon Hunters, so what does he know? Completed Vegas (he lost $500). Fellow Film Ranker. Pretty much the only person Adam has to talk about Star Wars and WWE with (other than his actual fiancé).