Bride
Sandra Bullock, criminal. Mastermind responsible for bringing this eclectic group of girls together and organizing the greatest heist of all time: conning George into a permanent monogamous relationship and pocketing some pretty jewelry in the process. (Please watch Oceans 8 before resuming down this list for the full effect ).
Groom
Carson Wentz, QB1 Too often injured. 2017 Almost MVP. Still hasn't won a playoff game. But at least he loves Jesus. Thanks to the protection of his solid front seven, here's to hoping 2020 is the year he'll finally #getdatring
Maid of Honor
Cate Blanchett, BFF and literal partner in crime. Business savvy AF with her MBA from MIT and years of working for corporate America. She may not be the one selling resealed bottles of watered-down vodka at the club, but you best believe she'll be there drinking it with you. Grace's college roommate, survivor of a 5+ year LDR, and lifelong soul-sister.
Best Man
Lane Johnson, Right Tackle. Clearly no stranger to the BM game and will even come prepared with props. Tim has been George's RIGHT-hand man since 2006........assuming he's awake........and not lost.
Bridesmaid
Mindy Kaling, jewelry maker. Confident, sassy, and fashionable New Yorker running the IG account at wework! The girl who all the girls want to be friends with (...and apparently who all their brothers want to marry hehe). We've come a long way since being nerdy 13 year-old besties at Exeter's Summer Camp. Livin' the dream since 2007 with this friend-turned-sister-in-law!
Best Man
Jason Peters, Left Tackle. Protecting George's blind side since 1999. He enjoys cupcaking his wife Monday through Saturday and pancaking fools on the field on Sundays.
Bridesmaid
Anne Hathaway, famous actress. I mean, have you SEEN this doe-eyed beauty? Fr-amily in Philly, the undefeated champion of steal scrabble (bragging rights of an English Ph.D. from Penn), and the best-dressed advice-giver out there. Her house is home, her hugs can heal, and her chunky little child is the antidote to any bad day.
Groomsman
Isaac Seumalo, Halapoulivaati Vaitai, and Jordan Mailata, Guard/Tackle. Versatile dude with that Pacific Islander tan skin. As nimble as a hula dancer but as strong as a Samoan. George's bay-area brother never forgets his roots. Penn State football on Saturdays. Eagles football on Sundays. Rinse and Repeat.
Bridesmaid
Sarah Paulson, surburban housewife and fence. Adorably proper and entirely unassuming. Diplomas from both Harvard and Penn but still eligible for that M-R-S. degree! The sweetest, cutest, most thoughtful soul. Late night stoop prayer partner, least productive (but all-time favorite) study buddy, and has a way of making you feel like you are the funniest person on earth.
Groomsman
Jason Kelce, Center. Aside from snapping footballs and riding unicorns, Pio has sacrificed his Marine-forged body for George time and time again. Keep an eye out for this boisterous bachelor during the wedding y'all!
Bridesmaid
Helena Bonham Carter, fashion designer. Go-to girl when you're in a bind and need to rummage through a guaranteed cute wardrobe! Proud dog mama to Baxter Suk, closet book worm, and IG influencer in another life. She's also the best wingwoman of all time and is credited for planting seeds of interest in both Grace and George on that fateful night at Bok Bar. Fellas, make sure to catch this eligible bachelorette on the dance floor!
Groomswoman
Zach Ertz, Tight End. You can find this fellow Temple PT perfecting her touchdown dance while still humbly guarding the quarterback. This chick's got glory and swag, but she also knows how to roll up her sleeves and grind!
Bridesmaid
Rihanna, hacker. Quiet and elusive but the brains of the operation. West coast transplant here to take names and save lives. Die-hard Dodgers fan and Hotspur hooligan who loves pizza, Everlane, and all things Amazon. Favorite memory together: getting stuck in a Northeast blizzard in her California-weather-suited rear wheel drive, all to visit Grace & Mama Hwang in Jersey for an evening. Friendship tested, mother approved.
Groomsman
Brandon Brooks, Right Guard. George's current roomie, or should we say groomie? Give this guy any type of problem and he'll fix it! He also makes the best lemon pancakes known to man (sorry future wifey)!
Bridesmaid
Awkwafina, loud-mouthed street hustler. No explanation needed here... But on the real, this crazy chick excels at providing comedic relief one moment (#crazyrichasians), and then hits you outta nowhere with ALL. THE. FEELS. (#thefarewell). College [sweet]mate, next-level hypebae, and sister from a Chinese mister #qijinghuang
Groomsman
Andre Dillard, Left Tackle. The newest protector of QB1. Huge Mavs fan. Fellow dragon. Future B-I-L. The first to recognize George's "interest" in his sister #inception #thanksmike
Flower Girl
C.E.O. BOSS LADY and George's niece. Also his secret weapon to landing Grace #effective. "She is 4" now but cute as ever!
Ring Bearer
Blue ribbon cattle wrangler. Wrestler extraordinaire. Cub Scout of America. STUDMUFFIN. Also George's nephew. There's nothing this boy can't do...we hope that includes carting some precious cargo down the aisle!