FAQs
Question
(I would have renamed this section GENDER GUIDE but that was not an option)
Answer
We know many people are coming together for our wedding from many times and places of knowing us. If you haven't seen us a lot in the last 5ish years this may be a mental shift and language change. As we celebrate coming together to be our togetherest truest selves—we appreciate our loved ones embracing us fully. Part of how you can show your love and care is through language! We always find it really meaningful when others make an effort. Simply referring to us accurately is a really amazing and simple thing you can do to support us. You must know at least one of us really well—we are confident that you've observed there's something so special about each of us that we cannot be confined to the gender binary. And we think you've always known that about us, and respected us for it in your own way, and that's why we invited you ;)
Question
What are our pronouns?
Answer
Wow so glad you asked, both Anna and Ronan use they/them/theirs pronouns.
Question
What are they/them pronouns??
Answer
They, them, and theirs are examples of nonbinary, gender-neutral pronouns that can be used in the singular. It's also obviously still great for plural people, but the pronouns they, them, and theirs are commonly used in the singular when you don't know someone's pronouns. Ex, "Looks like someone lost their phone!" And more relevantly, they are the pronouns that feel the most accurate for many people, generally those who identify as gender nonconforming or nonbinary.
Question
What if I mess up?
Answer
If you catch it, correct yourself and move on. Everyone makes mistakes, it's all about recognizing the opportunities to learn and grow. Make an effort to get it right in the next sentence. If someone else corrects you, thank them and move on. There's no sense wasting time with apologies or making comments about "this is hard". If you can learn other people's new last names, you can learn this.
Question
What can I do to support my amazing nonbinary friends who are getting married?
Answer
1. Make an effort to use the right pronouns when referring either of us 2. Help correct and educate others
Question
Where can I learn more about gender?
Answer
Great question! We are both educators and we love books. If you're interested, we really recommend "He / She / They: How We Talk About Gender and Why It Matters" by Schuyler Bailar (https://www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/schuyler-bailar/heshethey/9780306831881/) Also I strongly recommend following @alokvmenon on instagram, they make very good and often entertaining content